So the bumming has ended, and I am now a member of the workforce!

It's been a long journey filled with moments of uncertainty, low self-esteem ("I so lousy meh, how come no one wants to hire me?"), indecisiveness (when the job offers do come, but somehow don't seem good enough), and not to mention days when I was soooo bored just bumming around at home.

So I'm now a Senior Officer (Communications) at JTC. Hahaha sounds so big right. But actually I'm really near the bottom of the food chain. And of course, I'm now a slave to the government. I realize every job comes with its own set of pros and cons; it's just whether they weigh each other out at the end.

I admit that I considered rejecting the offer though haha. But the department head called me and had an hour-long conversation with me to answer whatever concerns I had. I think it's the effort she bothered to put in that really changed my mind, and also cuz she didn't gloss over the ugly sides of the job but shared her honest opinions. Hopefully she'll still be as nice when I start work :S So despite the potential zzz-ness of the jobscope (packaging JTC's happenings to the media, as if industrial estates are very fun things to talk about) and the kns office location, I think there'd be much to learn and benefit in the long term. It's your attitude that makes the diff I guess.

But I definitely do not look forward to travelling 1 hour all the way to the other end of the island everyday. The fact that work starts at 8.30am does not help. I foresee no end to my strong caffeine dependency. But oh well, I guess it could be worse. And now that I'm gainfully employed, I have to stop myself from regretting my decision and thinking about other potential interviews/offers that might come my way. I just have to trust in God, that this is where He wants me to be, and to make the most of it!

Now you do the same and you're right
Things are better in black and white

it commences.

So I have officially graduated. The end of a chapter, and the start of another.

(Note: None of the items I'm holding in the photo belong to me haha.)

This also means I have officially joined the ranks of the unemployed. No more student discounts! NUS even sent a letter to remind students to return their student cards. They congratulate you while making sure you stay firmly grounded in reality, yucks.

Anyway, is it weird to say that I somehow felt the Commencement ceremony wasn't any big deal? Ok la, I must say the gowns added a lot of pomp haha. I think my parents were happier than I was. Or maybe cuz to them it means they can finally stop raising me haha. 1 huge financial burden gone!

The Commencement dinner wasn't as good though. The food and service were bad, and the games were quite lame haha. But ok la, at least they bothered to have a dinner for us! Albeit as an excuse to slot in messages about alumni giving haha.

Ok I shall stop being bitter. I think cuz it's been so long since my last lesson that I've sorta lost the nostalgia haha.

I think I'll really miss my time in NUS. I'll always remember those times in lectures (or skipping them) talking nonsense to each other and discussing what to eat for lunch, the canteen meals (Western, chicken kebab, meepok with alot of chilli even after you said you didn't want any, coffeee!), staying in school till late for projects, writing endless reports, printing notes in the com lab etc. These are the little things that defined my time in Bizad :D

I'm really thankful for Boran, FOC and Rag (despite the hardship) haha. At the end of the day, I guess it's not so much my academic experience that have shaped me but the people and activities outside schoolwork. Without these people, I don't think I would've gotten through my 4 years so memorably or so smoothly :) I hope we stay in touch and as close as ever, even when we're old aunties/uncles! Then we can ask those fresh graduate kids to donate to alumni hoho.

I don't know if it's the same game,
if it's the same game although its the same control

Hello July!

Wow 2 weeks have passed by soo quickly! Europe still feels like a dream though haha. I feel like someone pressed the "Pause" button in my life on 20 May, then pressed the "Play" button on 13 June.

But it's not like I've been doing anything productive, apart from sending in the occasional job application or going for interviews (sadly I'm still very unemployed), since I was back haha. Oh last week we (me and my fellow unemployeds) made carbonara and financiers ("fee-nong-see-yer")! Awesome stuff haha! Oh and I've finished Season 1 of "Glee". I can't believe I've turned into a "Gleek" haha. But actually if you can ignore the shallow and cliched storyline, the songs and talented cast are reallllyy good! It's the kinda show where you can leave your brains at the door and just have fun haha. Now I'm halfway through "The Good Wife", an exciting legal drama. All politics and manipulation, amidst riveting cases hoho. It makes me want to be a lawyer haha.

Aye some upsetting stuff happened too. All I have to say is that I guess I sort of brought it upon myself because it was my decision and my choice, so I have to live with the consequences. Some things just cannot be compromised no matter how easy the alternative seems to be. Of course I have thought about taking the other way, but even if it might have made me happier, I know it will just be for a while and the long term result will not end well. I was fine before this started, and I will be fine (I already am) after. All I have to do is let go of my worries and trust in God's promises for me, cuz He will never shortchange me :)

" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " - Jeremiah 29:11

So yeah, this verse has been a great source of comfort.

Anyway, I dunno how time went by so quickly. Next week's the Commencement ceremony already! I dunno why they call it "commencement" though. Cuz I'm commencing on a new phase in life? But anyway it's scary that I'm now supposed to be a working adult. I don't wanna work. But I want a job (and money)! So how?

The closest thing to perfect,
But the farthest thing from me.

Wicked!

Caught the musical "Wicked" in London's West End. Awesome stuff, with a really thought-provoking storyline, talented cast, and wonderful music! It's actually from the story "The Wizard of Oz", but told from the Wicked Witch of the West's perspective and how she's actually not wicked at all, just that her good intentions got twisted to meet other people's agendas. And how sometimes one should not judge others based on their surface appearances. Anyway you can read about it here. I'd watch it again if it ever comes to Singapore.

On another note, I just sobbed through 2 episodes of Grey's Anatomy. Urgh I'm such a weenie. I seldom cry in life, but here I am using up handfuls of tissue (and my shirt) to dry the buckets of tears I'm crying over a SHOW! But oh well, at least it's a nice show haha.

And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free

So I'm back! And already missing Europe :( You'd think 24 days is super long, but it's not. I can't believe I'm back already.

It has been one long trip, and there wasn't anything that I really regretted. The sights were breath-taking, the cultures incredible and the history just awesome. And we've been blessed with many many wonderful friends, even strangers, who helped us a lot. Of course there were bad (albeit very few) moments, but we managed to work through them. Travelling with just one person can seem quite daunting but I'm glad we worked through our disagreements and whatever misunderstandings we had. In fact, I feel blessed that we shared this trip together and couldn't have asked for a better travelling buddy :D

Coming back to reality is hard lor. After a while, I feel that I can just keep travelling from country to country forever. And it feels weird to be alone in my room, when I've had company for the past 24 days (24/7 somemore) haha.

Now it's back to real life and real responsibilities. Shit I don't wanna find a job. And my future is looking very uncertain now, especially after receiving my disappointing results (in Venice).

Anyway shall post my photos soon! Going to counter jet-lag now and try to get some sleep haha.

And I know what I'm doing
Is incredibly wrong
That the music has ended
But the beat just goes on and on

5 countries in 24 days

I'm leaving on a jet plane!

Going to Europe is a stressful affair. Maybe cuz it's just the 2 of us girls. You have to take extra precautions and be extra kiasu about everything. Now I start to really treasure the presence of a guy haha. Guys are less blur, more streetsmart, better at directions and they can help carry bags! Now the 2 of us have to rely only each other :S Talk about blind leading the blind haha.

I pray that we'd be safe from accidents, pickpockets/crime, any mishaps. Even if anything happens, hope we'd get through it unscathed and that things will work out nicely. And also that I'd be able to survive 3 weeks of trekking around Europe with my giant backpack. I foresee I might lose weight on this trip haha. Most importantly, we need to have FUN! I look forward to all the sights and sounds we're gonna experience! :) But not receiving my results haha.

See you all soon! :)

What makes you think I'm enjoying being led to the flood?
We've got another thing coming undone

CP feels like a million years ago.

The presentation is over (albeit not as well as I would've liked) and I'm done crapping my personal reflections and (largely figmented) individual log. All in all, that's about the most crapping I've done in my four years in NUS.

Strangely, I don't feel very exhilirated that I'm all done with school. Maybe it's like what Kaishi said, the whole world has moved on without us while we were still stuck in the CP twilight zone.

Now, planning for Europe has taken over CP's place in my life, and it's quickly burning a massive hole in my pocket :S Gahh. So many things to do! And I'm starting to get a bit worried about the 2 of us travelling. Have to worry about pickpockets, getting lost, having not enough money, random volcanic eruptions, internal conflicts with each other etc.

What a daunting trip haha. But I really pray that everything will turn out well in the end! And we need everyone's prayers too!

Another pressing concern is my unemployed status. Urghh. Finding a job is one of those things which you know you gotta do, but you just don't want to (like everything else). Can I please not move on with my life so quickly?

Sometimes it's really hard to differentiate between what my heart wants, and what God wants for me. How do I tell which is which? If something feels good, does that mean it's right? I'm just afraid of facing up to the consequences of a bad decision. At the same time, I don't want to let go of something good (but again, how do I know?). I think I just really need to trust in God's plan for me.

Sigh, why is it that I still have so many worries after CP??



One by one we give each other away