good times never last.

I hate being blindsided. There I was, living in my own happy little bubble thinking that everything is A-Ok. Then something like this just has to happen. I guess it's true that good times never last.

First, the happy stuff:

Port Dickson was awesome. I really have to thank God on so many levels! Most importantly that I'm back in SG in one piece, esp since we went in a crappy excuse for a car. Many times during our journey, I felt like I was in the twilight zone - smoke coming out of our aircon vents, a wiper that makes the windscreen more blurry, an accelerator that has a delayed reaction even after flooring, and a super inaccurate GPS. Let's not even mention the worn out interior - splashes of red paint on the seat, a panel held together with blu-tack, etc.

Moral of the story: Never rent from a cheap car rental, no matter how attractive the price. There's a reason why it's cheap.

But I'm really glad our car (aka Bobby), or rather the passengers, was so fun. It truly was an adventure haha. I think our ridiculous situation prob helped to up the levels of crazy.

My virgin go-kart experience was a success too! 10 mins of pure excitement! And no accidents!!

As for our night activities, as usual there was lots of drinking. But no one passed out (unless it's out of pure exhaustion), and no one (ie. me) puked. It was quite an eye-opener to see the managers getting all crazy and initiating pillow fights though haha. I hope I can maintain a straight face in front of them in the office.

Seriously, I'm so blessed that God has placed all these nice people in my workplace around me, esp cuz there are quite a few Christians. I don't think I've ever had a manager pray with me before (we were praying for a safe journey in Bobby), and prob never will again. So yeah, that was another eye-opener haha.

And now, the horrible stuff:

So there I was, basking in the warm and blissful afterglow of this wonderful trip - it only lasted for an hour I think. And then I'm hit out of nowhere with really shitty news. Sometimes I think I'd rather be kept in the dark forever. Ignorance really is bliss.

Till now, I'm unable to give any clear explanations let alone give any possible solutions. Heck, it is not even my position to provide resolutions or to make any judgments. I can only say that in many ways, this is a wakeup call. But it doesn't reduce the anxiety and disappointment though. I can only pray and hope in the Lord, be as objective as I can, and show love no matter how difficult it is right now.

It's times like these that I really hate humans. Why do we (myself included) always complicate and hurt our relationships? I'm starting to lose hope.

There’s been some miscalculations,
there’s no room left to stand.

better off

#1 peeve with work:

I'm seriously very concerned about this drinking "problem" that I have/am developing. Maybe I'm just exaggerating cuz once/twice a week probably doesn't warrant being called a problem. But still.

I hate drinking for the sake of it.

Seriously, is there NO other way to have fun? The only things I get out of it are a throbbing headache, dulled senses, and nausea. I'm fine with alcohol if it's to chill out over good conversation with good friends, or just enough to loosen me enough that I can go onto the dancefloor without caring too much about looking like an uncoordinated idiot.

But I'm not ok if it becomes a pointless competition to see how much you can take, or if the end-goal is to get wasted. It's gross. So I guess it's a good thing that I managed to puke before 7pm last week at the D&D (after just 1 and a half martinis - another record). I don't mind looking like a loser if it means I don't have to, or rather can't, be forced to down more alcohol than I can stand.

Conclusion: I need more guts to resist the pressure of colleagues. Or I just need to puke more often. Cuz there's a limit to my liver and bank account.

Other than that annoying peeve, work and colleagues (when sober) have been great. Which I'm seriously more than grateful for :)

On the personal front, is it worrying that I'm really not that concerned about my single status? Maybe cuz I've been distracted enough that I haven't been thinking seriously about it. Or maybe it's just that I can't really see myself being attached to ONE person for the rest of my life. Ok sometimes I do wish I had a constant in my life; someone who is always there for me to rant to, confide in, or share my lame thoughts with. But these moments are fleeting and pass as quickly as they come. I'm not about to dress up/wear more makeup just cuz it'll get more boys interested haha. I don't wanna be in a relationship just cuz it's the social expectation and it's what everyone has. On the other hand, I also don't wanna hang around till I'm old and 'undesirable'.

Maybe the reason why I'm still single is cuz I lack a sense of urgency haha. But still, I'm sticking to my motto of, 'if it happens, it happens'. And really, I just haven't met someone who's managed to catch and hold onto my (very fickle) interest. For now, I'm happy just prancing around doing what I like and enjoying this season of singlehood :)

Summer Camp - Better Off Without You

I think this song sums up what I feel about relationships right now hahah. Granted it's about an awful ex, but it's so ridiculously catchy and sing-out-loud that I think it applies to single ladies in general.

And if you said you'd never waste my time
I'd be so happy, I'd be so happy