Wooo, is it 2011 ALREADY. It seems like once the millenium started the years just starting zooming past. Or maybe I'm just getting older. In the words of my dad, "Next year is the rabbit year, which means you're 24 already. By the time the next cycle comes in 12 years, you should already have 2 kids. (Me: WHAT?) But no pressure."
Anyway although the past year might seem brief, as usual it didn't go down without any drama. There have been plenty of highs and lows: CP and its sleepless nights, graduation!, Europe (still can't believe I was running around that continent for 3 weeks, but can't wait to go back), and who can forget being shoved head-first into my first job (and subsequent resignation). Nice. But of course, I'm really thankful that in spite of everything, I got through the year relatively smoothly, and all the better for it.
For 2011, my hope is that it will be a chill year. But of course, life will always be full of drama. What I really hope for is that I can let go of the regrets of 2010, and live a purposeful life! I hope to finally find a job I enjoy, and continue the transition into the role of responsible, working adult instead of still wishing I was a student. This also means to be able to better balance work, family, friends and of course time with God. Speaking of which, I also hope this year will be a good time of spiritual refreshment and reflection.
Below is an article in today's Straits Times which I found to be quite meaningful for the new year:
A toast to new year exertions
Idleness is over-rated, purposeful work is the stuff of happiness
THERE is an entertainment hub in Sengkang that is strikingly devoid of glitz and glamour - just two fields facing each other across a road that leads to the Fernvale housing estate.
Yet every Sunday, except when it pours, the place draws devotees of a good sport - cricketers in elegant, all-white shirt-and-trouser ensembles, soccerites in strong, bright team colours, ultimate frisbee enthusiasts channelling dry fit chic, and slipper-clad families clutching kites with which to catch the evening breeze.
People do not go to the Sengkang hub to sit around and be entertained; they go there to play - to stretch both mind and body in a good workout that is also good fun.
Good play takes effort. It is strenuous, sometimes painful, on a good day exciting and absorbing. It is the opposite of idleness, and in that sense, similar to work.
Recently, a colleague and I were talking over Christmas office party leftovers about whether work was the opposite of fun. She declared it was; I disagreed.
Another colleague joined in and said one of the most fun things she did of late was to talk to older Singaporeans for a story related to death that she was writing.
As it turns out, the dictionary lists as the antonym of work not fun, but idleness. The Oxford English Dictionary, that self-described 'definitive record of the English language', contains a reference to an 1889 book by novelist J. K. Jerome titled The Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Fellow, which reminds us that 'There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do'.
I suspect many of us have come to equate happiness and the good life with rest and relaxation because our lives are often so busy and packed full of tasks that we feel obliged to get done.
But what would be the point of leisure if we actually had nothing to do? Sitting around doing nothing is boring, mind-numbing and muscle-wasting.
A former colleague once went on a much anticipated two-week break in Phuket to get away from it all and just chill. It turned out to be a real bore after the first few days. He could not wait for the holiday to end. He realised then that he would have to rethink his retirement plans.
Last year, Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew drew mixed reactions when he said Singaporeans should not rush to retire but work for as long as possible. In 2008, he put it more starkly when he said: 'Retirement means death.'
Those who expect to retire at 62 for a life of enjoyment are making the biggest mistake of their lives, he warned. 'If you want to see sunrise tomorrow or sunset, you must have a reason, you must have the stimuli, to keep going,' he said. Mr Lee is clearly a man who has found meaning and purpose in his work.
But this is not a column to harangue Singaporeans to work longer, timed to coincide with the re-employment law that the Government plans to pass early this year - although sceptics may think this lady doth protest too much.
Rather, I am trying to say that we should all focus on what makes us come to life, each in our own way. That is a question worth exploring in this season of New Year's resolutions because to be fully alive is to be happy. And surely happiness is ultimately what we all seek when we make resolutions about living better in the new year than in the old.
American psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihaly has made it his life's work to study the psychology of optimal experience. He has coined a term for those times in our lives when we feel such a deep sense of exhilaration and enjoyment that we think: 'Ah, if only life could always be like this.' It is at those times that a person is in the state of effortless yet highly focused consciousness he calls 'flow'.
His research involved getting thousands of people around the world to monitor and record their experiences during the course of a day using the Experience Sampling Method he developed while at the University of Chicago. He has concluded of 'flow' that 'the best moments usually occur when a person's body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile'.
Here again, we find the opposite of idleness. Human beings are in flow when their skills match the challenges they are presented with. By contrast, if their skills far surpass the challenge, they become bored. If their skills are not up to the challenge, they feel anxious.
He also found that people are more often in flow while at work than at leisure. That is because on the job, they feel skilful and challenged, and therefore more happy, strong, creative and satisfied.
In their free time, people may feel that there is not much to do or that their skills are not being used, and may tend to feel sad, listless, dull and dissatisfied.
Yet many people say they would like to work less and spend more time in leisure. Why this contradiction? Prof Csikszentmihaly thinks that 'when it comes to work, people do not heed the evidence of their senses'.
'They disregard the quality of immediate experience and base their motivation instead on the strongly rooted cultural stereotype of what work is supposed to be like. They think of it as an imposition, a constraint, an infringement of their freedom, and therefore something to be avoided as much as possible,' he wrote in one of his books.
Perhaps the same holds for our concept of play as well, with the prevailing perception being that the less effort expended, the better one's leisure time. That may well explain why millions of people around the world seem to prefer watching rather than playing sport.
If our belief is that happiness lies in doing less rather than more, in resting within our comfort zones rather than stretching ourselves to meet new challenges, are we short-changing ourselves by closing off potentially exhilarating experiences that come from total immersion in a difficult activity of our choosing?
I suspect so, and hence I wish you all many happy exertions in the new year.
Happy New Year! :)
