it's okay

I can't explain why I'm dreading the start of the new sem. Usually I'm nonchalant, and it really doesn't matter to me whether or not there is school. But this time, I'm filled with this feeling of dread, sadness and emptiness whenever I think about starting the new sem :(

I think after going through a month of fun, light, and happiness, it's really hard to go back to reality haha. Cold, dark and stupid reality. But it's ok. I'll be ok after a few weeks of school. It all just takes a bit of getting used to.

This sem will be better than the last. For one, I'm determined to do nothing but mug. Actually it doesn't look like I have any other choice, especially since I'm taking 4 Business modules, and a Science GEM that I'm starting to regret taking after looking at the lecture notes. Nevertheless, I'm still gonna try. I will not be distracted by issues that do not concern me. Never again.

But then again, I realise I actually study better when I'm sad haha. It's like a driving force because studying helps me to forget all my sadness. But it's not worth the cost, so it's still quite stupid. Of course I'd still prefer to be happy, like now.

I wish I could go back to my sec school days. A few of us went back to the new DHS just now (at 12am, but the security uncle was nice enough to let us in), on a whim. Even though a few buildings have changed and a few more were added (the canteen has a larger variety of food haha), the place still holds fond memories. Every nook and cranny of the school reminds me of something. I can even remember the names of the teachers, and all their funny characteristics haha. Those days will always be the best of my life.

It's okay if you can't stay long
It's okay if all our answers are wrong
It's okay if you want to move on