where i want to stay

So I'm in Las Vegas now. And it's not called "Sin City" for no reason. I'm amazed by what I see around me. Gambling, sex, and drinking. Everything's done in excess. Even the hotels and casinos are built to excessive extravagance. It's all so fake.

The casinos are always packed, and there are so many of them. And the streets are filled with people carrying yard-long margaritas or beers. The drunk are everywhere. And last night while walking back to our hotel, we even saw an exchange going on between a prostitute and this fat, drunk guy on the streets. It was sick. And the roads are strewn with flyers of naked women. In conclusion, this city is pretty disgusting. Human depravity at its worst.

So I'm quite happy to leave haha. Our trip has been good so far. I like our pace. No rushing around, and we take ALOT of breaks haha. Too many perhaps. The company is good also, though I don't really know the two guys very well. For pictures, go to facebook. I'm kinda lazy to upload them haha.

Anyway it's 10 more days till I come home. Really looking forward to it, yet dreading it cuz I'll really miss the US. The best 6 months of my life were spent here :)) Ok, till next time.

And my popcorn squeaks with the question, wonders why I'm not at home
Where you wait beside a silent telephone, doodle circles within circles all alone
Have to stop myself from climbing on the table full of empties to yell:
"Why, why can't I draw right up to what I want to say?"
"Why can't I ever stop where I want to stay?"

tired of all this

Earlier today:

I am now stuck alone, at New York JFK airport. My f-ing flight to Boston is cancelled, and I was rescheduled to the 9.15am one tomorrow. I was made to run from terminal to terminal, from counter to counter, because no one can help me. And I didn’t get any sleep last night. Perfect conditions for a breakdown, huh.

Oh well, at least someone from Delta airlines called me to help me out. So I can take a 7.05pm flight. But it still sucks. I’ve NEVER had a smooth flight here before. F-ing weather and air transportation system. I’m sick of all the delays, cancellations, and walking around the airport lugging a huge bag. I guess I’d feel better if I wasn’t alone. And it’s quite ironic that my flight to College Station in January was delayed too.

Right now I’m taking a break and waiting for the time when I can go to check in at my gate. And I’m charging my phone at some random shop haha. Cuz I’ve been calling all the airline hotlines, texting (and complaining) to friends, and now my phone is dead. And I really need it later. So I went in to this shop where they sold chargers and asked if I could charge my phone for a while for $3, instead of having to buy a charger haha. Damn cheapskate hor. But who cares, I’m tired and desperate.

8 hours later:

I'm finally in Boston with my mom and her friend. OH my flight got delayed -.- Yeah we basically stayed in the plane for 1 hour. But I got a First Class seat! HAha not that it matters, cuz the flight was only 40 mins. And gee, my mom is already nagging me to death. Sigh. And I don't know if I can go to the Canadian side of the Falls, cuz of visa issues. Argh. Actually I'd rather not go, cuz I'm really tired from travelling. I wanna stay put in one place for a while. So I'm hoping I can stay with Pauline aha.

Ok I'm going to bed before I collapse tomorrow.

hello sunshine

I'm leaving in about 6 hours. Don't really know what to say.

On one hand, I'm very excited :)) On the other hand, I'm filled with longing. But at least I can safely say there isn't really anything here that I regret doing/not doing haha.

By the way, I'm going to Boston to meet my mum (yay mummy!) and her friend. For some reason, all my friends think she's really cool to be travelling around, especially to Mexico haha. Anyway, we're going to New York and Niagara Falls also. Ya, it's the second time for me haha. But I really wanna see the Falls in summer, when it's not so cold. And of course, Central Park when it's sunny :D Then on 15 May, I'll be going to LA to meet Pauline and her friends. Gonna be touring the West Coast with them for 3 weeks. We're going to LA, San Diego, Las Vegas, Sacramento and San Francisco. Going home on 2 June. Can't wait! Singapore food is waiting for meeeee..

Ok, hopefully I won't get lost in transit among the 3 flights I have to take. And of course, there won't be any delays haha. Oh and my baggage won't be too overweight (I had to repack them after one came up to 60 pounds, when the limit is 50 haha).

Hello sunshine
Come into my life
In honesty it’s been a while
Since we had reason left to smile

100th post

This is my 100th post, out of which 22 were made here. Gosh, it's so hard to say goodbye. It's probably the thing I'm worst at. Saying goodbye.

Anyway, here are the things I'm gonna miss when I leave (not in any particular order):

1. The Texas A&M campus. The acres and acres of land. The MSC, and the grass that you're forbidden to step on. The beautiful buildings, which make those in NUS look like they're from the ghetto.

2. Basking in the sun. All those times on Dream Hill. Just lying there on the grass and enjoying the sun, without a care in my mind. Heck, not only Dream Hill. I miss ALL the times on the grass! Whether it was in Mexico, San Antonio, Washington DC, or Burnet haha.

3. Northgate. The convenience of having so many restaurants and pubs at my doorstep haha. Oh and the Dixie Chicken! Playing pool, drinking cheap beer ($2!) and the country music.

4. Road trips. Especially those in the French car haha. Oooh man, I love that car! Although it's really old, has no air-conditioning, and is quite dirty, it's the best ride! Anyway, I love being on miles and miles of highway. With fields of wildflowers around you, and herds of cows and farmland haha.

5. The French! Their goofiness, and crap. They really made my time here so much more fun haha.

6. The hospitality of Texans. Nobody really treats you like a stranger, and everyone is really friendly and nice.

7. The Aggie spirit. How everyone in the school feels like family. All the cheers, and "Saw 'Em Off"s everywhere. The strong sense of belonging.

8. My roommate hahaha. How she's always dancing around the room, giving me stupid names (sissy, napper, hoe, bad Asian...), and the random things we do together, like how we always try in vain to make the suitemates shut up (like playing the Aggie war hymn at the highest volume, at 3am in the morning). And that she'll wake me up for class haha. Oh and that we have the same sleeping habits (ie. go to bed at 3am, and wake up at 12pm). She always makes me laugh haha :)))

9. Lauren and her family. They've really made us feel like family :) And her mum makes the best food ever haha! And Lauren's always there to help, no matter what. Like how she always drives around, and gives me a place to stay when I'm sick of the prison cell known as my dorm room.

10. Everything is bigger in Texas. Bigger portions of food, bigger cars, bigger people haha.

11. How Texas has its own culture. The cowboy hats (I have one!), boots, belt and plaid shirts. Their slang (yall, fixin' to do something etc). Tex-Mex.

Ok, that's all I can think of now. I'm sure there's more, just that everything is floating aroudn in my brain now so I can't really think haha.

Now I gotta go back to my books and packing. I did NOTHING today. Like I woke up at 1.30pm, then went out with my roommate. And just now I was at the Dixie Chicken with the other exchange students for dinner. Crap. I have LOTS to do, and that means no sleep tonight haha. Oh well.

This love isn't good unless it's me and you
Stick your hands inside of my pockets
Keep them warm while I'm still here

nothing else will do

On one hand, I can't wait to leave this place, cuz it means finishing my exams, and starting my holiday (California!). On the other hand, I can't bear to leave cuz I'd miss everything here.

So I was talking to Alex about this, and he said, "The good life is what you enjoy, not what you leave behind." Cheem hor. Anyway his explanation is: "I have good times here, when it is over, it is over. But there were good times. But everyone one moves on. And I move on too, for more good times ahead like everyone else. We might or might not reunite for good times again but whatever. We had good times in the past. Sadness is just after the good times end. After that, it is good to know that it happened. That's that."

Which is true. There's no point holding on to the past, we all gotta move on. The more I think about the past, and how I wish I could reclaim them, the more miserable I'm gonna get. I need to live in the moment, and not "what was/could have been". It doesn't mean that I have to lose my memories, but rather that I hang on to them for what they are, instead of constantly moping that I can't relive them again.

Then again, I don't know if I miss the good times, or the people that contributed to them. Cuz I find it hard to be emotionally attached to someone I've only known for 4 months haha. Unless we share alot with each other. Ah, I don't know la. I'll deal with the situation again when it comes in 2 weeks.

For now, I have to start mugging for my exams! My first paper is this Thurs haha. Crap. I can't seem to run away from exams, no matter how far away I am. I can run away from studying for them though ahaha. And I have to start packing rahhh.

Oh, by the way, we were over in San Antonio this weekend (Fri and Sat only, actually). The place is seriously like Mexico man. All the Latinos. But I had lotsa fun! We saw the historic sites like the Alamo and the Missions, visited the Mexican market, and watched the Fiesta parade. Did some shopping at the outlet mall also haha. And I DRANK COFFEE TODAY. Oh, FYI, I've been on an anti-coffee strike for the past 18 days cuz I was trying to wean myself off of my caffeine addiction. But I gave in today, cuz of the lack of sleep, and the need for energy. NOO. I have no principles!! This is bad.

Anyway, ok I'm going to sleep. Mugging commences tomorrow.

No amount of coffee, no amount of crying
No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine
No, nothing else will do
I've gotta have you, I've gotta have you

take it from me

What can I compare you to, a favorite pair of shoes?
Maybe my bright red boots if they had wings
Funny how we animate colorful objects saved
Funny how it's hard to take a love with no sting.

But come on take it, come on take it, take it from me
But come on take it, come on take it, take it from me (we've got a good life).

What can I compare you to, a window the sun shines through?
Maybe the silver moon, a smile rising
The magic of the fading day, satellites on parade
A toast to the plans we've made to live like kings.

I lose my breath despite the air
When the rain falls down I give in to despair
Pink magnolia in winter she doesn't care
if you don't show up to have another cup.

What can I compare you to, when everything looks like you?
I get a bit confused with every Spring
Flowers that bloom your eyes, hummingbirds side by side
My heart won't stay entirely in this rib caging

- The Weepies, "Take It From Me"

blessed :)

Sorry for being away for so long. Been busy haha. Nothing work-related though. I'm turning into a world-class slacker over here. Here's why:

1. I skip my morning classes. Heck, for each of the past 2 weeks, I've only gone to 4 out of my 10 classes.
2. I've gone 13 days without coffee! That's a record, for someone who bought 25 Dining Dollars (credit for campus food) just for coffee haha. Anyway, this is only possible because I don't go for my morning classes (see point no. 1 above), so I don't need coffee because I get enough sleep!
3. I've never woken up before 10am for the past 2 weeks.
4. Last Wed was the most unprepared presentation I've ever had. Basically I just went up and read from my script, which I only printed out 1 hour before the presentation. But the class instructor is really lenient with her grades, which was good haha.
5. I have time to bask in the sun. In fact, I actually feel damn relaxed. Like there's no meaning in my life haha.

In conclusion, I'm gonna have HUGE problems re-adjusting when I go home. I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO NUS.

Anyway, as most of you all know, I just turned 21! Honestly, it doesn't feel any different from any other day. But my friends here really made the day really special for me :)))

Ok so, my roommate said she's gonna take me out for dinner, so I was like, "ok". And I thought it was just gonna be the both of us, which was fine with me. But at the restaurant, there were like 10 of my other friends waiting for me! Which really surprised me haha. I mean I had a feeling something like this was gonna happen cuz I haven't heard from my other friends all day, but I wasn't expecting to see so many people hah. So it was a pleasant surprise.

Clockwise from left: Travis (Alex's roommate), Camille (from France), Lauren (the one who planned everything!!), Lip Tong, me!, Lacy (the roommate), Alex, Jacobo (from Spain), Jennifer (Travis' girlfriend), Frisca, and Yessy.

Oh, the waitress at Outback Steakhouse (where we had dinner), gave me a free dessert too :D. Anyway, after dinner, they blindfolded me and drove me to this "secret" location (it was Lauren's place). It was damn funny, cuz my roommate actually stole a napkin from the restaurant to use as a blindfold hahah. And they left me blindfolded in the middle of the parking lot for a few minutes while they prepared the stuff, which made me feel like a kidnapped Chinese immigrant hahaha. So they led me down this trail, and removed my blindfold, where I was greeted with this sight:

Everyone was there! Including Lauren's friends, who I met when we were at the Bluebonnet Festival last weekend. Oh man, I was terribly touched haha.
I had a cake too :) And they even went through the trouble of giving me trick candles that kept relighting themselves, so I was huffing and puffing for a good 10 minutes, which explains why my face is like that in the picture hah. I got presents too! An ipod cover for my new ipod (heehee), chocolates, a frisbee, and body foam haha.

And after that, the drinking session everyone's (Alex and the French and Spanish, at least) been waiting for! Over here, you can only drink when you're 21, so it's a cause for celebration haha. It was really embarrassing, though. I was gone only after 1 and a half margaritas haha. Oh, we went to this place with $2 margaritas on Mondays haha. Yeah, so my face was red, I felt like puking (I eventually did, in the restroom), and I could barely stand properly. I can't hold my liquor man. And I had to stay over at Lauren's place (which was 3 mins away), cuz I couldn't make it back to my dorm.

Otherwise, I had a great time! Thanks to WWF for the hilarious and retarded video :)) It really brought back all the wonderful memories of all the dumb things we do haha. By the way, I still have the audio recordings we made at Simin's house for Pei when she left for the UK. One day we should definitely do a "WWF Greatest Hits" compilation ahah. Thanks to Joe also, for the headphones (and the accidental binoculars) and bag. And to Shuqi, for the book and the bag :D And to everyone who wished me happy birthday! It's times like these that I wished I could just fly back immediately to see you all. I MISS ALL OF YOU :))

Ok, a sad thing happened this weekend. I LOST MY SHOE!! The left side of my Converse sneakers are lost somewhere in a creek in Houston :(( Ok, it was also a dumb mistake on my part. Anywya we went over to Lauren's place for the weekend (and to see her family before we leave sob), and we brought her dog out for a walk, where we had to cross this creek. It's basically like a natural longkang, like a small stream. So I was crossing it barefoot, so I threw my shoes to the other side. But one of them bounced off the bank, and floated down the river. It was hilarious though haha. Cuz there I was, balancing precariously on rocks, ankle deep in rushing water, and freaking out over my shoe, which was floating downstream. Lauren tried to go after my shoe, but she got stung by a bee, which kinda ended the shoe-hunting affair haha. I felt sorry for her though, cuz she got the sting for my shoe, and her leg is still kinda swollen :(

Here's my precious shoe, which has been with me for the past 3 yrs. Full of sentimental value ok.

Anyway, I've been really blessed to have a bunch of wonderful people as my friends, and I really thank the Lord for this :) Especially over here, cuz they help to ease my homesickness, and really helped me experience so much more. I remember when I just got here, I was extremely depressed, and I prayed desperately for comfort. Now I'm really glad that the Lord has answered my prayers by putting great people in my life :))

But for now, I'm just gonna treasure the few weeks I have left here. (and slack as much as possible)

But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow