butterflies in the stomach

For some reason, I'm kinda dreading school this semester. You know, the butterflies in the stomach feeling. Not that I've always loved school, but I guess after being away for 7 months, I'm just really afraid of going back to see that everything has changed and not being able to cope with it all. Also, this sem I'm gonna be taking different modules from most of my friends. Even though, technically it's like being back in Texas, where I'm the only Singaporean (and Asian) in my class. It's just different.

The worse thing is, my Mondays are like absolutely crazy. 9am to 8pm?! Albeit with two 2-hour breaks in between. Which sucks, cuz I won't know what to do with myself during those breaks. Walk around, study, hang around? Sigh. It's times like these that I wish I stayed in hall haha. I think sooner or later, I'm gonna skip my 6pm class hahaha. And I have 9am classes on Mon and Tues. And I have to take a bus, so that means I have to wake up at 7am. Gawd. I think I can count the number of times I've woken up before 8am in the past few months, with one hand.

Anyway, the past week has been crazy. I've had 3 occasions where I've had to stand for hours while being squashed in a crowd of people. The first one being Singfest, the second one at Zouk, and the third at Rag on Fri. Mambo Night at Zouk was nuts. There were sooo many people! But it was fun, other than almost being jostled to death, getting into a back-to-back shoving match with a guy who kept pushing his way into my personal space, and being winked at by an ang moh (creepy but amusing). It was entertaining to see people doing the Para Para-like Mambo 'moves'. If it were anywhere else, it'll look downright ridiculous haha. But clubbing should definitely be kept to a once-in-a-while kind of thing. It's bad for your heart, ears, eyesight, and health in general.

Rag Day was tiring too. Went back to help on Thurs, and it was discouraging to see the seniors hard at work mache-ing, while a huge group of juniors were using eye power. Somehow, they made our effort last year seem like it was in vain. I've heard many disappointing things about the juniors also. Well, at least they won! Haha and didn't put Bizad to shame as we had previously expected.

Ok, let's hope this sem will go smoothly. It's time to work hard again, after a 7 months long honeymoon. I need to pull up my CAP (it's what I always say each sem right ahha)!

And I know I said some things that hurt
It took 97 missed calls to finally get over you

I HATE WORK.

All I do is sit around on my ass, doing things that I seldom see the point of. It's a waste of time, really. I feel like I'm just doing sai kang for the boss, instead of really learning anything.

I'm ready to quit and slack before school starts. Speaking of which, I'm not at all ready for schooL! After my exchange, I don't think I'll ever get used to mugging and slogging my guts out haha. I feel so lala.

And I still have to write a 3-5 pg report on my exchange. Very (*&#$(*# lor. How am I supposed to put fun into words?!

Ragging later also. I'm afraid that I won't have much to do there. Then it'll just be another waste of time. But I'd feel bad if I don't at least go down to help out abit.

Oh and Singfest on Sunday was a blast! But I'm still in the midst of blogging about it haha.

Bidding season is on again. At least I don't have to bid for my Business modules, or anguish over getting just 1 module out of 5. But I still don't know what Breadth/GEM I should take. They either look very zzz and nonsensical ('Microchip Revolution - From Sand to IC' wtf?), or they don't fit into my timetable. I'm hoping to get a 4 day week, or a 3 day one if I'm lucky haha.

I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
Will it be yes or will it be
Sorry

Singfest 08!

WOOTS. I'm back from SINGFEST!! Which ended like 1 hour ago, yeah like totally overshot the scheduled time haha. Other than the fact that I can't feel my legs, my hearing is still muffled, and my whole body is aching, I had tons of fuN!! It was worth the $180 (after Visa discount somemore) I paid haha.

Yes I know, $180 right. Here were some responses I got:

My friends: "You know how many things I can buy with $180?!"
My auntie: "$180?! I won't even pay $160 to watch Pavarotti!!"
Mum: "Huh! Pay so much go there still must stand ah??"

But it was worth it! Cuz I saw JASON MRAZ, ONEREPUBLIC, and ALICIA KEYS. But oh man, it was freakin' crowded. Which probably explains why the tickets for today were sold out. I think there were about 10,000 people man. There was even a super loong, snaking queue just to go in! But we managed to cut queue (muahaha) and got in easy. Oh btw, I went with Pauline and her bro who's 3 years younger.

Wah Fort Canning Park was already packed when we arrived man. And it was only 4pm? I think there were more people than grass. Some people brought like their own picnic mats, complete with sandwiches, beer and wine haha. But we were empty-handed, so we had to make do with the free Starhub plastic sheets/bags. At first we were sitting like way behind cuz the acts weren't that interesting and mosh-worthy. Like Stacie Orrico and Jamie Scott? I only know like 3 songs between the both of them haha. After OneRepublic's performance (which was stellar), we decided to risk our safety and bash our way to the stage. I think I trampled on alot of feet/bags/mats/people, on the way there haha. But oh well.

See, more people than grass right. Otherwise, Fort Canning Park is a nice place for a picnic haha.

OneRepublic, from far far away.
So Panic at the Disco was up next, and we were like about 50 meters from the stage. Aww man, their first song was ruined cuz the mike went deaf and no one could hear what the lead was singing. And no one in the band knew about it despite the audience going, "We can't hear you!" But after that it was great although I only knew a few lines to their songs. Then we attempted to move further up nearer the stage so as to better experience JASON MRAZ.

Panic at the Disco, up close.
Everyone was there for Mraz haha.

I can tell you being in the mosh pit definitely brings you closer to your death haha. You're like surrounded by a million sweaty bodies, which equates to whiffs of bad body odour if you're unlucky enough to stand under someone's armpits. And you can't breathe properly cuz you're being squeezed from every corner. And you go deaf when someone near you starts shrieking/screaming. It doesn't help when there are inconsiderate people who take their own sweet time to squeeze their way past you, leaving you shoved between them and a wall of bodies while they take a moment to shout for their friend Yvonne. OMG I wanted to strangle that girl.

Sorry ah, quite blur. Anyway, Jason Mraz was awesome!! There was alot of interaction with the audience, and he's really good at making up lyrics out of nowhere haha. No wonder he's Mr. A-Z. The crowd was really enthu also, I think almost everyone was singing (and screaming) along with him. Best choral performance haha. Actually I think most people were only there for Mraz's performance.

After Mraz, it was the Levi's Fashion Show and Rick Astley ("Never gonna give you up, never gonna make you cry..."), which we weren't interested in, so we went to PS for dinner. The food sold at Singfest was freaking expensive man. $6 hotdogs?! It's like blatant daylight robbery. Anyway when we came back, the Pussycat Dolls were performing. And woah, they're good (albeit slutty haha), prancing around the stage in stripper clothes haha. I always wonder how people can sing and dance at the same time haha.

The final act was Alicia Keys. She's like the headliner for Sunday's concert, which wasn't a surprise, cuz she was world-class. Her singing was great, maybe even better than on the radio hah. But I thought it was better suited for a more intimate concert hall setting, rather than a big ass outdoor music festival. And she talked way too much! Like in the middle of her songs, so much that I kinda forgot what she was singing in the first place haha. But other than that, she was quite exciting to watch, jumping from the keyboard to the piano, and even dancing for a bit haha. Her backup singers and band were really good too. But for some reason, some of the audience left during her performance (probably to avoid the stampede after), and I felt bad for her haha. In conclusion, Singfest was good! I kinda regret not going for the first day though, cuz I really wanted to see Travis. But oh well, at least I saved some $$ haha. The second day was still worth it, though. I took many videos but they're too big so just gotta make do with pictures haha.

Just take it easy
And celebrate the malleable reality
Nothing is ever as it seems
This life is but a dream

young adults' retreat

I'm damn lazy to blog. There's nothing much going on in my life also haha. Oh well there was the young adults' retreat we had over the weekend. That was great. I learnt alot.

It was held at the Changi Village chalet, and the theme was 'Tell a Story', and true to that, we had speakers come to share their personal trials and stories. And trust me, when I say 'trial', it really is a trial. When you hear what they've gone through/are going through, you realise your own suffering pales in comparison. It really puts things in perspective. There was this lady who is married with kids but has cancer, and the guy who married his girlfriend even though she had kidney failure and all. In a way, I think they were really brave to come forward and talk to this bunch of strangers. But I'm really thankful for that, cuz I really learnt alot.

For example, the lady never once asked God 'Why me?'. Instead she said, "I know God chose me out of so many people cuz He knows I have the strength to take it." And it's true. We couldn't tell she had cancer till she said so. She's still quite cheerful and determined to live and watch her kids grow up. And most importantly, she trusts God to the point that she doesn't question Him, but leaves her life in His hands. He's in control after all, and He has reasons we cannot fathom. All we can do is to trust in His purposes.

The other guy also. Out of all the girls he can choose, he chose to marry the girl who's very sick, and whom he has to take care of for the rest of his life. This is called faithfulness at it's very best. In a sense, I guess he and his wife were made for each other. She's sick, so God sent her a man who's willing to take care of her. And for her, I think it takes alot to trust a man to be there for you always.

So yeah, it was an encouraging weekend. I also had lots of fun catching up with all the church people haha. And making new friends too.

On another note, I have 3 more weeks of work to go! ARGH. And most of my friends have already stopped working. It's quite sad lor, cuz it used to be that I couldn't find anyone to go out with cuz everyone was working, but now everyone's free except me haha. Work's getting boring also. I hate calling people! Though it's fun to meet journalists and stuff haha.



That's Ryan Adams (not to be confused with Bryan). I'm in love with him haha. Though he's quite an eccentric musician.

Dancin' out on 7th street
Dancin' through the underground
Dancin' little marionette
Are you happy now?

I hate it when people think they're better than me, and think they have a right to tell me what I should/should not do.

Who are you to judge me anyway?

And it's not like I'm gonna make the world a better place if I change. If I irk you so much, then just go away. Just don't tell me off like you have a right to do so.

It's times like these that make me wish I could go back to the US. No one expects too much from me, and I'm not pressured to do anything I don't want to. Back here, it seems like I'm being let down at every corner I turn. People disappoint me.

And I've come to the point where I don't really care anymore. I'm indifferent. Go do whatever you want, tell me whatever you want; I'll live with it.

Argh, I'm pissed.

If I told you the reasons why
Would you leave your life and ride?

i should be working

Ok I really should be working right now, but aiya, I'm super bored and sian. That's the bad thing about working at home. You get so comfortable, it puts you in the wrong frame of mind. Plus there's no one to supervise you haha. And I've been calling the same pple so many times, yet none of them answered the phone. It's damn irritating.

Anyway after reading Kaishi's blog entry about rag, I was inspired to look at all the pictures and videos we've (Boran) taken since FOC 2006, ie. China, Rag, etc. (Ya I know I should have been working.) Oh man, they brought back so many fond memories haha. And yes, I still can't believe we actually took all those retarded videos. But it's ok, I like being retarded :D And it's good to know I have retarded friends to be retarded with. I like the word 'retarded' hahaha. Ok I shall stop rambling (and being retarded).

My point is, I've been really blessed to have so many friends that I can actually click with, and are on the same wavelength, whether it is on our beliefs, values, or just the fact that we are amused by the same things. I'm not afraid to be myself around them, even if it means playing a fool. And this goes to all my friends, like Boran, WWF, PPG, and those in church.

Anyway, looking at all the Boran pictures really makes me of think of how far we've come since we first met 2 years ago at FOC. I'm glad we managed to be good friends so quickly haha. I wonder if we actually knew we were gonna be so close at the time of the videos. And even though Rag was quite traumatising and threatened to distant ourselves from each other, I'm thankful that we grew closer after everything, and I found new people to sit in lectures with :) That means you, Juli and Kaishi haha. And of course, Boss la (I realize I stopped calling her that after exchange haha). You're not just a driver to me, you know :D haha kidding. You're much much more than that :) I actually really missed all of you when I was away.

Ok well now that Kaishi is going away for exchange, and Juli's gonna graduate next year, I hope we'd still be able stick close to each other. Like when we meet up 10 years later (hopefully when we're all rich and successful muahaha), we're still able to be all retarded and spastic and be amused by the stupidest and dumbest things haha.

Wah what a mushy entry. So unlike me. Sigh, ok gotta go back to calling people. Hopefully they'd be free to entertain me now.

When you’re gone, all the colors fade
When you’re gone, no New Year’s Day parade

It's THAT time of year again. The Choosing of Modules.

Should I do 3 project-intensive modules and kill myself, for the sake of completing my REs? Or slack, and do more UEs? I'm getting confused just looking at my graduation requirements.

And I need to pull my CAP up, seriously. I wanna do Honours. So that I can delay working for another year. Haha, just kidding.

Sigh. I dunno I dunno I dunno!

I hope the module preference thingy doesn't mess up my timetable. It sounds like a nightmare, from what I've heard. I don't wanna go to school everyday haha.

Calm down, I'm calling you to say
I'm capsized, erring on the edge of safe