4 words: BECAUSE I HAVE TO.
#$#*(@&#^*(@!#
There's a certain thrill in going somewhere totally foreign and unfamiliar to you. Well, to me at least. A place where no one knows you, and you can pretend to be someone else, or be yourself, whichever goes. Sigh, such are the small things I find joy in haha.
I don't know if I want my exams to end quickly or not. Cuz once they end, it means I'm leaving already. And I don't know whether to look forward to my departure, or dread it. OMG. As if constantly worrying over whether I can finish studying isn't enough. I worry too much. Mugging only makes everything worse. Mugging turns me into this sad, depressed, and lonely woman. Haha sucks right.
Ugh, I should seriously stay away from the computer. AWAY FROM ME, EVIL MOUSE!!
And maybe we're fools, who knows
Who knows, who knows
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
humpty dumpty
I think my feelings are in a state of suspension. I'm neither happy nor sad. I just am.
I'm too tired to feel anything I guess. Tired from mugging. This mugging that never ends.
Btw, the show 'Pushing Daisies' is nice. Go watch. After your (my) exams.
All of the king's horses and all of the king's men
Couldn't pull my heart back together again
All of the physicians and mathematicians too
Failed to stop my heart from breaking in two
Cos all I need is you
I just need you
Yeah you got the glue
So I'm gonna give my heart to you
I'm too tired to feel anything I guess. Tired from mugging. This mugging that never ends.
Btw, the show 'Pushing Daisies' is nice. Go watch. After your (my) exams.
All of the king's horses and all of the king's men
Couldn't pull my heart back together again
All of the physicians and mathematicians too
Failed to stop my heart from breaking in two
Cos all I need is you
I just need you
Yeah you got the glue
So I'm gonna give my heart to you
Friday, November 16, 2007
readings!
I think I know why I don't like to study Political Science - the FREAKING readings! The whole stack of them!
At first I thought, "Oh you know, they're just readings. Shouldn't be too much of a problem." I WAS WRONG. Omg. Readings aren't supposed to be pages and pages (and pages and pages and pages..) of indigestible crap. I don't understand why, if those authors can write in Queen's English and write words like 'tautology' (???), they can't put their ideas across in simple English. And the thing is, they go in circles before presenting their main argument (which explains why our readings come in stacks). So sometimes, you have to read a whole paragraph several times before you finally understand what the author is trying to say.
Also, most of the time, the articles tend to contradict each other. I know the lecturer is trying to get us to see a concept from different perspectives, but HOW DO I KNOW WHICH ONE TO BELIEVE IN??
Argh!! I don't know what I'm reading!! And I don't know if I can finish that whole stack in time!
I think I'm destined to be a Business student haha. Can you imagine if I were in Arts? I'd suffocate under all the readings I have to do. So contrary to belief, Arts students aren't slack haha.
[The fact that I'm blogging everyday means something.]
Don't waste your time on me,
You're already the voice inside my head
At first I thought, "Oh you know, they're just readings. Shouldn't be too much of a problem." I WAS WRONG. Omg. Readings aren't supposed to be pages and pages (and pages and pages and pages..) of indigestible crap. I don't understand why, if those authors can write in Queen's English and write words like 'tautology' (???), they can't put their ideas across in simple English. And the thing is, they go in circles before presenting their main argument (which explains why our readings come in stacks). So sometimes, you have to read a whole paragraph several times before you finally understand what the author is trying to say.
Also, most of the time, the articles tend to contradict each other. I know the lecturer is trying to get us to see a concept from different perspectives, but HOW DO I KNOW WHICH ONE TO BELIEVE IN??
Argh!! I don't know what I'm reading!! And I don't know if I can finish that whole stack in time!
I think I'm destined to be a Business student haha. Can you imagine if I were in Arts? I'd suffocate under all the readings I have to do. So contrary to belief, Arts students aren't slack haha.
[The fact that I'm blogging everyday means something.]
Don't waste your time on me,
You're already the voice inside my head
Thursday, November 15, 2007
come on, give it a go
Hahah it's the season of complaints again!
HELP.
I can't study. Not at home. But I think that's just an excuse for me to not study at home, you know?
And I keep falling asleep! I don't know why. I think I need coffee.
I need to get a tan after the exams too haha.
COME ON, ADE!! YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS.
We don't know what we're doing but we gotta just give it a go
We gotta just give it a go
HELP.
I can't study. Not at home. But I think that's just an excuse for me to not study at home, you know?
And I keep falling asleep! I don't know why. I think I need coffee.
I need to get a tan after the exams too haha.
COME ON, ADE!! YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS.
We don't know what we're doing but we gotta just give it a go
We gotta just give it a go
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
after the exams
After my exams, I want to:
1) Sleep. ALL I WANT. Without the guilt.
2) Read. No, not my textbooks. I wanna read fiction. I have this whole list of books and authors I wanna check out.
3) Catch up with WWF, PPG, Boran, and f4!! (No they're not boybands.) Oh and the people from church!
4) Get my freaking driver's license. It's taking way too long!
5) Prepare for my trip, ie. buy winter wear, textbooks, make sure I have a place to stay etc.
6) Spend time with my family.
7) Sleep some more.
Haha. That isn't too much right? But first, STUDYYY.
It's all about your cries and kisses
Those first steps that I can't calculate
I need some more of you to take me over
1) Sleep. ALL I WANT. Without the guilt.
2) Read. No, not my textbooks. I wanna read fiction. I have this whole list of books and authors I wanna check out.
3) Catch up with WWF, PPG, Boran, and f4!! (No they're not boybands.) Oh and the people from church!
4) Get my freaking driver's license. It's taking way too long!
5) Prepare for my trip, ie. buy winter wear, textbooks, make sure I have a place to stay etc.
6) Spend time with my family.
7) Sleep some more.
Haha. That isn't too much right? But first, STUDYYY.
It's all about your cries and kisses
Those first steps that I can't calculate
I need some more of you to take me over
Sunday, November 11, 2007
stuck
Ah. Ok, well. It's (supposed) to be mugging season again. Life as a student is bleak. Just when you think all your projects and term papers are over, you realise your exams are looming ahead. SIGH. I feel I just woke up from a nightmare, only to realise I'm in the middle of another nightmare. It's like a nightmare within a nightmare haha.
Anyway, WHERE'S MY SENSE OF URGENCY???
I'm still happily lala-ing away. Like I was out the whole of today, and the only productive thing I did was to finish my Econs tutorial. I need urgency to come back! I need to be more kan cheong!
Oh I just remembered what I wanted to blog about haha. Yesterday, Tony Blair came to NUS to speak about global governance. I watched his speech on NUS webcast, which was quite sad, cuz I really wanted to go but I kinda forgot to sign up till someone reminded me yesterday, and it was already too late. I need to keep my eyes peeled open for events like these, and to learn to take more initiative in such matters, instead of conveniently forgetting about them haha.
He was quite entertaining and humorous. And his ideas were really relevant, like he talked about how interconnected the world is right now, among other stuff like terrorism and climate changes. Oh and how the best way to solve all these problems is to form alliances with each other. I thought it was quite good. Too bad the Q and A session had to be cut short. Haha if only Tony Blair were my Political Science lecturer. I'd go for every lecture man.
Then later that night, I caught the movie 'Lions for Lambs'. It's a political drama by the way, not a cartoon haha. Actually it's more like a documentary cuz it kinda reflects the current sentiment in America regarding the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. I thought that it was quite good, though the ending was quite unsatisfying. You kinda wished there'd be more, but then again, I guess even if there was an ending, it wouldn't really reflect reality. And it'd still be unsatisfying. The dialogue was pretty thought-provoking, though it was quite biased against the current US administration. By the way, the title came about from a quote by a German general during WWI about the British troops, "'Nowhere have I seen such lions led by such lambs." Like the brave ones were being led by the weak and useless.
So there you have it, this is how I spent potential mugging time. But it was worth it la haha. As much as I think politics is interesting, I'd gladly prefer to be politically apathetic, and stay in my own happy bubble. Cuz really, there's no end to it.
And I really really should concentrate on more pressing matters at hand. Like my exams!!! GAHH.
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are
Anyway, WHERE'S MY SENSE OF URGENCY???
I'm still happily lala-ing away. Like I was out the whole of today, and the only productive thing I did was to finish my Econs tutorial. I need urgency to come back! I need to be more kan cheong!
Oh I just remembered what I wanted to blog about haha. Yesterday, Tony Blair came to NUS to speak about global governance. I watched his speech on NUS webcast, which was quite sad, cuz I really wanted to go but I kinda forgot to sign up till someone reminded me yesterday, and it was already too late. I need to keep my eyes peeled open for events like these, and to learn to take more initiative in such matters, instead of conveniently forgetting about them haha.
He was quite entertaining and humorous. And his ideas were really relevant, like he talked about how interconnected the world is right now, among other stuff like terrorism and climate changes. Oh and how the best way to solve all these problems is to form alliances with each other. I thought it was quite good. Too bad the Q and A session had to be cut short. Haha if only Tony Blair were my Political Science lecturer. I'd go for every lecture man.
Then later that night, I caught the movie 'Lions for Lambs'. It's a political drama by the way, not a cartoon haha. Actually it's more like a documentary cuz it kinda reflects the current sentiment in America regarding the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. I thought that it was quite good, though the ending was quite unsatisfying. You kinda wished there'd be more, but then again, I guess even if there was an ending, it wouldn't really reflect reality. And it'd still be unsatisfying. The dialogue was pretty thought-provoking, though it was quite biased against the current US administration. By the way, the title came about from a quote by a German general during WWI about the British troops, "'Nowhere have I seen such lions led by such lambs." Like the brave ones were being led by the weak and useless.
So there you have it, this is how I spent potential mugging time. But it was worth it la haha. As much as I think politics is interesting, I'd gladly prefer to be politically apathetic, and stay in my own happy bubble. Cuz really, there's no end to it.
And I really really should concentrate on more pressing matters at hand. Like my exams!!! GAHH.
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are
Monday, November 5, 2007
the fever is near
Ok I take back everything I said about being happier when I'm busy. I'm not. In fact, I'm beginning to feel overwhelmed. There are so many things running through my mind, that I can't even concentrate on what I'm really supposed to do (like uhm, study??). I think it's just me. I tend to worry over things beyond my control. And I have no patience. I don't like to sit there and wait for something to happen, even though theoratically, there's nothing I can do to make my situation better. So I complain, and worry, and worry, and worry some more. And then I get depressed. I think I should learn to let go.
Anyway, I don't really know what to do to get myself out of depression. I could sleep, or I could immerse myself in work. Or I could find company (since misery loves company). Are you supposed to feel better if you're surrounded by happy people, or by people who are more miserable than you? Hmm I don't really know. For me, I think I'd rather be around happy people. Cuz at least I have a higher chance of being infected with their happiness. On the other hand, maybe I'll feel worse off, cuz 'what right do they have to be happy, when I'm feeling so miserable here?'. But that's just selfish. Then again, I could pray about it. But I wonder if I have enough faith for it.
I guess what I really need is for someone to reassure me that everything will be alright, and even if we can't solve my problem, at least I'll feel better and stronger to face it. It's even better if I'm able to forget all my troubles for a while, and just live in the moment, whatever or whoever it may be with. Sadly, there aren't many people in my life who have the ability to make me feel better.
It's ironic how those closest to you can't even tell you're unhappy, yet the people you don't see often are able to read your feelings with just one look at your face. Then again, friends don't need to spend a lot of time with each other to be close.
I have a lot of wants. Too many to count, even. But what I really need is to be content with what I already have.
Ok that's enough rambling for today. It's just my time of the month again.
And the internet at home is really cranky. I'll lose my connection whenever there's a thunderstorm haha. And for some reason, I can't download any songs. Pfft.
So have you been to a place like this?
To see your breath as it paints against the sky
The fever is near
I wish you were here
Anyway, I don't really know what to do to get myself out of depression. I could sleep, or I could immerse myself in work. Or I could find company (since misery loves company). Are you supposed to feel better if you're surrounded by happy people, or by people who are more miserable than you? Hmm I don't really know. For me, I think I'd rather be around happy people. Cuz at least I have a higher chance of being infected with their happiness. On the other hand, maybe I'll feel worse off, cuz 'what right do they have to be happy, when I'm feeling so miserable here?'. But that's just selfish. Then again, I could pray about it. But I wonder if I have enough faith for it.
I guess what I really need is for someone to reassure me that everything will be alright, and even if we can't solve my problem, at least I'll feel better and stronger to face it. It's even better if I'm able to forget all my troubles for a while, and just live in the moment, whatever or whoever it may be with. Sadly, there aren't many people in my life who have the ability to make me feel better.
It's ironic how those closest to you can't even tell you're unhappy, yet the people you don't see often are able to read your feelings with just one look at your face. Then again, friends don't need to spend a lot of time with each other to be close.
I have a lot of wants. Too many to count, even. But what I really need is to be content with what I already have.
Ok that's enough rambling for today. It's just my time of the month again.
And the internet at home is really cranky. I'll lose my connection whenever there's a thunderstorm haha. And for some reason, I can't download any songs. Pfft.
So have you been to a place like this?
To see your breath as it paints against the sky
The fever is near
I wish you were here
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)