tests and unrest

I thought I could finally breathe after today's MA paper (which was ok, thank goodness). But noooo, before I could take a break, I was sucked back into the whirling pit of term papers, projects and tutorials. You know what I did after today's test? I went to Paya Lebar's KFC to do this week's MA tutorial! This is bad, cuz it is totally unlike me. I'm the type who goes straight home to sleep/play/anythingbutstudy after a long week of tests and unrest (they rhyme!). But I didn't today cuz I was afraid of falling into the deadly (but tempting) trap of a long nap if I go home. Nowadays, it's almost a crime to do anything but work; it weighs heavily on your conscience, I tell you.

AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! My torture has no end!!!!! This tunnel is long, dark and bleak. Where is my light??? I'm chasing an invisible light.

Ok I should stop complaining. The burden in my heart is getting heavier and heavier sigh.

Update: Spastic is now known as Yong Tau Foo! It's a personification of the state of my brains now. Which are like tofu, literally.

If the choice was ours alone,
Then why'd we both choose letting go?
Does it end like this?

Someone please motivate me. I can't seem to focus on studying for MA tomorrow. Argh. I feel like going there to anyhow whack. I was so bored I actually adopted a piece of tofu on Facebook. He's called Spastic by the way (as requested by Kaishi), and Spastic is the first ever talking tofu! Just don't pet him too hard, or he'd disintegrate and I'll need to get another pet (the radish perhaps?).

Rawr. I need to get out. And I need sleep.

Well, here's to living in the moment
'Cause it passed, it passed.

chase this light

I really should be sleeping right now, but I'm too excited haha. Aye actually I think I'm the only one who's excited enough to stay awake over something like this. Yes, 4 of my favourite bands have released new albums!! I know it's nothing worth blogging about, but this is the most exciting thing that has happened to me recently. I have no life I know. Anyway,

Dashboard Confessional - The Shade of Poison Trees

The band who introduced me to the emo genre, though I seldom listen to emo nowadays haha.

New Found Glory - From the Screen to Your Stereo Part II
Although it's just an album of covers and remakes, it's still great to listen to, cuz they really give these old songs a wonderful punk twist.Motion City Soundtrack - Even If It Kills Me
Erm, I haven't listened to (or rather, downloaded) it yet haha.

Jimmy Eat World - Chase This Light
Gasp!! My all-time favourite band!! I've waited 2 years for this! And it's the main reason why I'm willing to stay up till 4am to listen to it. Ok, I downloaded it illegally and it's only supposed to be released on 16 Oct haha. But I promise I'll buy it when it comes out!! I just hope Singaporean stores will carry it.
Jimmy Eat World :D Who cares if they're good-looking or not. They make great music and write wonderful lyrics. I hope I can go to one of their concerts in my lifetime haha.

Anyway, I think I should devote more time to studying and sleeping haha. My hate and love, respectively. I'm really lagging behind sigh.

Because tonight, the world turned in me.
Because right now, I don't dare to breathe.

photo spam

Pictures!! For some reason, I can't post pictures in the order I uploaded them. As in, the earliest ones on the top. So my photos are from the latest to the earliest. Someone please tell me how to do them properly. Anyway, this is briefly what happened during my midterm break. As you can see, I did minimal studying and optimal eating (and sleeping, which is censored, so you won't see anything here haha!). And all these below excludes the Ratatouille and (failed) studying session with Huajia on Mon, and the sushi buffet with Shuqi and Hongsheng on Thurs.

Wed night: Supper at 85 Market with F4! Hazel, Jan, me and Jas!
Joy oh joy!! ALL this food for me!!!!
A ball of tissue paper disguised as a tang yuan. Yes, we like to play with our food haha.
We love oily food!! Actually there are a zillion more pictures, but I'm too lazy to upload all of them, and blogger is frustratingly slow.

Tues: Dinner at Little India with WWF! The debris of our fish head curry, chicken masala, mutton redang, and briyani haha. We were so hungry we forgot to take a picture when the food was still presentable haha.

See la, whole day like to take picture without me looking.

Youth retreat! Housemates: Me, Tess, Shushu, Tim, Roy.

Brothers and sisters :) Or rather, all sisters haha.

At the back of Uncle Alvin's car.

See la, mug what mug. Grow fat only. I'm probably gonna regret it when school opens next week, and my misery begins again. BUT I had lotsa fun this past week!!

Trouble me, disturb me with all your cares and your worries.

Speak to me and let our words build a shelter from the storm.

young adults retreat

I'm back from the Young Adults Retreat at JB! Had a great time there, but I'm super duper tired... Even though technically we did sleep every night, as compared to our previous all-nighter camps. I think it's cuz we're all "old" people already. As in the age range over there was from 18-35, not counting the uncle and auntie leaders haha.

We learnt about the differences in perspectives between men and women. Like we had this poll thing where men and women had to vote on different issues. And this quiz testing us on what we know about men, and what they know about us women haha. In the end, it's all about embracing those differences, and at the same time learning to be godly men and women. And I think women nowadays are becoming more like men, in all the wrong ways. Like they think if men can sleep around and have affairs, they can do it. It's disgusting really.

Anyway, I think it's really great to have much older people amongst us, especially those in their mid 30s, cuz you really get to hear a whole different bunch of perspectives. And then you realise you're really lacking in maturity, both spiritually and mentally, and that you still have a long way to grow up. Yup, and I learnt quite alot about relationships also. Some people surprised with their views on this issue also, like they show maturity beyond their age, which is impressive.

We also had this session where we had to brainstorm on ways to improve our young adults community. And I realised we're really lacking in our prayer lives. Not individually, but for each other. So we're not that involved in each other's spiritual lives, and thus we don't get to grow as much as we can. I guess I only started thinking about this, after Shuqi told me about it, and about what she saw among her other Christian friends. And I think I'm lacking in this area also. I don't share very often among my church friends, even though technically we're very close. And most of the time, I'm too selfish or busy to pray for others except myself. I guess this has to stop, and things have to change.

But we had fun too! Like the hilarious skits, games and just everything in general haha. And it was good to get away from all the problems in Singapore. So I hope we'd have more of this fellowships and gatherings next time :)))

On another note, although this week is my term break, I don't think it can really be considered one haha. There are projects to meet for, term papers to research for, tutorials to do, and of course, friends to catch up with! Especially wwf and ppg! And dear Janice, before she flies off. Just hope that I can get enough rest to see me through the rest of the semester.

And it's the same world, honey, that has brought you down,
As the one that's gonna pick you up.

If a guy sings to me like that I'd marry him right away hahah :)

living just to breathe

I'm tired, and my head is throbbing. I wanna sleep but I can't. I wanna watch tv but I can't. I wanna read but I bloody freaking can't. All because of all the stupid tutorials/projects/nonsense I have to do.

I can't help but feel miserable for myself.

I can't even go out properly cuz there'd be a million gazillion things running through my mind. Every week is like some long, uphill climb, only that there's nothing nice waiting for you at the top. Cuz when you reach the top, there'd only be another steeper, taller hill waiting to be climbed. It's a vicious neverending cycle.

And sometimes I feel that I don't know who I can talk to, as in really talk to. You know there are some pple whom you feel you can trust, but you're not that sure? Or you don't really think they're really interested in listening. Or maybe you've just grown distant from each other. And the silences can become really long, drawn-out and awkward.

I wanna sleep. But there's bloody MA to do. *&*(#&$(*#&!!!

God please grant me rest, patience, perseverance and STRENGTH.

So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for