I'm seriously very concerned about this drinking "problem" that I have/am developing. Maybe I'm just exaggerating cuz once/twice a week probably doesn't warrant being called a problem. But still.
I hate drinking for the sake of it.
Seriously, is there NO other way to have fun? The only things I get out of it are a throbbing headache, dulled senses, and nausea. I'm fine with alcohol if it's to chill out over good conversation with good friends, or just enough to loosen me enough that I can go onto the dancefloor without caring too much about looking like an uncoordinated idiot.
But I'm not ok if it becomes a pointless competition to see how much you can take, or if the end-goal is to get wasted. It's gross. So I guess it's a good thing that I managed to puke before 7pm last week at the D&D (after just 1 and a half martinis - another record). I don't mind looking like a loser if it means I don't have to, or rather can't, be forced to down more alcohol than I can stand.
Conclusion: I need more guts to resist the pressure of colleagues. Or I just need to puke more often. Cuz there's a limit to my liver and bank account.
Other than that annoying peeve, work and colleagues (when sober) have been great. Which I'm seriously more than grateful for :)
On the personal front, is it worrying that I'm really not that concerned about my single status? Maybe cuz I've been distracted enough that I haven't been thinking seriously about it. Or maybe it's just that I can't really see myself being attached to ONE person for the rest of my life. Ok sometimes I do wish I had a constant in my life; someone who is always there for me to rant to, confide in, or share my lame thoughts with. But these moments are fleeting and pass as quickly as they come. I'm not about to dress up/wear more makeup just cuz it'll get more boys interested haha. I don't wanna be in a relationship just cuz it's the social expectation and it's what everyone has. On the other hand, I also don't wanna hang around till I'm old and 'undesirable'.
Maybe the reason why I'm still single is cuz I lack a sense of urgency haha. But still, I'm sticking to my motto of, 'if it happens, it happens'. And really, I just haven't met someone who's managed to catch and hold onto my (very fickle) interest. For now, I'm happy just prancing around doing what I like and enjoying this season of singlehood :)
I think this song sums up what I feel about relationships right now hahah. Granted it's about an awful ex, but it's so ridiculously catchy and sing-out-loud that I think it applies to single ladies in general.
And if you said you'd never waste my time
I'd be so happy, I'd be so happy
I'd be so happy, I'd be so happy
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