young adults' retreat

I'm damn lazy to blog. There's nothing much going on in my life also haha. Oh well there was the young adults' retreat we had over the weekend. That was great. I learnt alot.

It was held at the Changi Village chalet, and the theme was 'Tell a Story', and true to that, we had speakers come to share their personal trials and stories. And trust me, when I say 'trial', it really is a trial. When you hear what they've gone through/are going through, you realise your own suffering pales in comparison. It really puts things in perspective. There was this lady who is married with kids but has cancer, and the guy who married his girlfriend even though she had kidney failure and all. In a way, I think they were really brave to come forward and talk to this bunch of strangers. But I'm really thankful for that, cuz I really learnt alot.

For example, the lady never once asked God 'Why me?'. Instead she said, "I know God chose me out of so many people cuz He knows I have the strength to take it." And it's true. We couldn't tell she had cancer till she said so. She's still quite cheerful and determined to live and watch her kids grow up. And most importantly, she trusts God to the point that she doesn't question Him, but leaves her life in His hands. He's in control after all, and He has reasons we cannot fathom. All we can do is to trust in His purposes.

The other guy also. Out of all the girls he can choose, he chose to marry the girl who's very sick, and whom he has to take care of for the rest of his life. This is called faithfulness at it's very best. In a sense, I guess he and his wife were made for each other. She's sick, so God sent her a man who's willing to take care of her. And for her, I think it takes alot to trust a man to be there for you always.

So yeah, it was an encouraging weekend. I also had lots of fun catching up with all the church people haha. And making new friends too.

On another note, I have 3 more weeks of work to go! ARGH. And most of my friends have already stopped working. It's quite sad lor, cuz it used to be that I couldn't find anyone to go out with cuz everyone was working, but now everyone's free except me haha. Work's getting boring also. I hate calling people! Though it's fun to meet journalists and stuff haha.



That's Ryan Adams (not to be confused with Bryan). I'm in love with him haha. Though he's quite an eccentric musician.

Dancin' out on 7th street
Dancin' through the underground
Dancin' little marionette
Are you happy now?

I hate it when people think they're better than me, and think they have a right to tell me what I should/should not do.

Who are you to judge me anyway?

And it's not like I'm gonna make the world a better place if I change. If I irk you so much, then just go away. Just don't tell me off like you have a right to do so.

It's times like these that make me wish I could go back to the US. No one expects too much from me, and I'm not pressured to do anything I don't want to. Back here, it seems like I'm being let down at every corner I turn. People disappoint me.

And I've come to the point where I don't really care anymore. I'm indifferent. Go do whatever you want, tell me whatever you want; I'll live with it.

Argh, I'm pissed.

If I told you the reasons why
Would you leave your life and ride?

i should be working

Ok I really should be working right now, but aiya, I'm super bored and sian. That's the bad thing about working at home. You get so comfortable, it puts you in the wrong frame of mind. Plus there's no one to supervise you haha. And I've been calling the same pple so many times, yet none of them answered the phone. It's damn irritating.

Anyway after reading Kaishi's blog entry about rag, I was inspired to look at all the pictures and videos we've (Boran) taken since FOC 2006, ie. China, Rag, etc. (Ya I know I should have been working.) Oh man, they brought back so many fond memories haha. And yes, I still can't believe we actually took all those retarded videos. But it's ok, I like being retarded :D And it's good to know I have retarded friends to be retarded with. I like the word 'retarded' hahaha. Ok I shall stop rambling (and being retarded).

My point is, I've been really blessed to have so many friends that I can actually click with, and are on the same wavelength, whether it is on our beliefs, values, or just the fact that we are amused by the same things. I'm not afraid to be myself around them, even if it means playing a fool. And this goes to all my friends, like Boran, WWF, PPG, and those in church.

Anyway, looking at all the Boran pictures really makes me of think of how far we've come since we first met 2 years ago at FOC. I'm glad we managed to be good friends so quickly haha. I wonder if we actually knew we were gonna be so close at the time of the videos. And even though Rag was quite traumatising and threatened to distant ourselves from each other, I'm thankful that we grew closer after everything, and I found new people to sit in lectures with :) That means you, Juli and Kaishi haha. And of course, Boss la (I realize I stopped calling her that after exchange haha). You're not just a driver to me, you know :D haha kidding. You're much much more than that :) I actually really missed all of you when I was away.

Ok well now that Kaishi is going away for exchange, and Juli's gonna graduate next year, I hope we'd still be able stick close to each other. Like when we meet up 10 years later (hopefully when we're all rich and successful muahaha), we're still able to be all retarded and spastic and be amused by the stupidest and dumbest things haha.

Wah what a mushy entry. So unlike me. Sigh, ok gotta go back to calling people. Hopefully they'd be free to entertain me now.

When you’re gone, all the colors fade
When you’re gone, no New Year’s Day parade

It's THAT time of year again. The Choosing of Modules.

Should I do 3 project-intensive modules and kill myself, for the sake of completing my REs? Or slack, and do more UEs? I'm getting confused just looking at my graduation requirements.

And I need to pull my CAP up, seriously. I wanna do Honours. So that I can delay working for another year. Haha, just kidding.

Sigh. I dunno I dunno I dunno!

I hope the module preference thingy doesn't mess up my timetable. It sounds like a nightmare, from what I've heard. I don't wanna go to school everyday haha.

Calm down, I'm calling you to say
I'm capsized, erring on the edge of safe

no better and no worse

For some reason, I feel damn depressed if I don't have anything to do/anyone to meet up with after work. It's like I don't really have much to look forward to after work :( Sigh. I really don't want my life after graduation to be like that!! Damn those Monday blues.

But then again, I'm kinda lazy to go somewhere haah. And I save money by staying home. Oh well.

Once again, I stress on the need to GET A NEW LAPTOP. (*&%(@*^%( thing!!! WHY ON EARTH DOES IT KEEP HANGING AND DYING ON ME?!?! Oh and that day I accidentally dropped it (ok it's my fault too) and now the CD slot thing is hanging out hahah. It's pathetic really. I think I should back up my stuff on my external hard drive, then leave my laptop somewhere and wait for someone to steal it so I can get a new one haha!! Ok, that's mean. I still love my laptop. In any case, someone please donate a new laptop to me thanks :D (Preferably a Mac :D:D)

But, I wanna complain about the Internet at home also. It's super s l o o o o o w.... Cannot la, like that. If I work from home how?? I won't be able to get anything done!! And going out is expensive! Plus that time Wireless@SG banned me from the network cuz apparently, I was using too much -.-

It's sad how nothing I own works properly :(

Haha ok, I think I'm done with complaining for now. Argh, I can't wait for Friday!!

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

round-a-bout

So after days of lamenting about leading a meaningless life, I've finally found a job! I'm currently working for a local PR firm as an intern. It's a new company, so no one's heard of it before haha. But so far I'm having fun (I'm only 2 days into the job). It's something totally different.

For one, there isn't any fixed office for me to go to. They have an address in Orchard, but that's only for collecting mail haha. The 2 bosses work from home, and from anywhere actually, since they're always running around Singapore meeting clients and stuff. Therefore, I work from home too haha. Which is really cool. For example, yesterday I was just following my boss and running around everywhere with her. From Buangkok to Katong, and to Toa Payoh, then to Kaki Bukit. And today, I didn't even get to see my boss. She just gave me some stuff to do and left me alone haha. But I still had to run around Singapore. Oh well at least I got to have lunch with my friends at Raffles Place haha.

Basically my job scope involves writing press releases, compiling lists of media contacts (this is quite a pain actually), and calling journalists and stuff. And of course, running around the whole of Singapore. The good thing is that it's different from what my other friends are doing at their internships. Everyday is different, and you don't do the same things all the time. I get to travel, and not stay behind a computer 9 hours a day. And I get to meet lots of people. I get to stay at home also! But it's not that great actually, cuz I need LOTS of discipline to make sure I get up on time (my official working hours are from 9am-6pm), since there's no where for me to go. It doesn't actually feel like I'm working haha. But yeah, it's also damn tiring to run around everywhere.

To me, I don't really think it's important to work for a reputable company doing the same things as other interns everywhere. Of course I want the prestige and all, but I'd rather learn, and expose myself more to different things. Sure, it's embarrassing to be going around doing weird and crazy things in the name of PR, but it's different and fun, if you look at it positively haha. I don't learn the hard skills, but I might be able to gain some soft skills. And at least then I'll know what I want/not want to do in the future after graduation. You only get to be a PR intern once, after all haha. I can sit behind a desk for the next 40 years of my life.

Anyway. After 2 days, I realise I need:
1. A better laptop. This one is stupid. It keeps hanging and it's freaking slow. I can't do too many things on it at one time, which sucks, cuz a big part of the job is to do many, many things at one go.
2. My ipod at all times. I deal with loneliness by listening to music haha. Plus there's the travelling.
3. My phone. My boss expects me to be on standby for any assignments, from 9am - 6pm haha. Sigh no slacking.
4. A car. It's tiring to take the train and bus. And it's not very nice to cab around, when there're other cheaper forms of public transport, which just makes me more tired haha. At least I can still claim my transport fees from the company.

Ok I hope I'll be able to learn more quickly in the next few weeks, and be an asset, not liability, to the company haha.

Don't you be a round-a-bout
Not another round-a-bout
We've come this far
Yet back to the start
Don't you be a round-a-bout

the detail's in the fabric

What makes me sad:

1. Disappointments.
2. When someone doesn't understand me, and frustration turns into sadness.
3. When I feel inferior.
4. Guilt.
5. Loneliness.
6. When I miss someone (no one in particular, in case any of you are wondering). Especially when I miss someone, like when I left Texas in May :(
7. Boredom (speaking of which, I really need a job now. Still looking for one though. Argh!)

When I'm sad I:

1. Read.
2. Listen to music.
3. Crave for company.
4. Eat (trying not to, though)
5. Sleep.
6. Blog.
7. Drink beer. Haha just kidding.

If it's a broken part replace it
If it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it